I sort of would rather have gotten nasty road rash, than gone through a break up like this. I just can't stop thinking about all of our memories together.
We did the usually things, concerts, house parties, cooking.
We cruised together along the beach, then walked hand in hand as the sun set (corney, but romantic none the less). I find it really difficult sharing these things with anyone else.
It was only a 3 year relationship, it started when we were both fresh out ofhigh school, it was natural and real. Now I am affraid that I'll never develop such a comfortable connection with someone else again. I have had sex since things ended but it didn't feel right, mainly because, I don't think I can ever care for someone like this again.
It is sort of like I should be happy, it wasn't like this horror trip. It wasn't a knightmare. It was good, maybe that is why it is so dificult. There are poeple who are glad and they may come out a little sassy but are still an angel and that must mean something right.
Is this common with breakups?
That it hurts?
I think so. If a breakup doesn't hurt, then there were serious issues between you and the end was inevitable. It will hurt for a while, and eventually fade, but try to remember what you liked and didn't like about the relationship.
NOT THE PERSON.
This will prepare you for the future and help you make choices on who you pursue as a partner. Distract yourself with hobbies/work/fitness/etc.
I think productive things that take your mind off the pain are important. But it's a personal, natural process that has to happen, one way or the other. It's a hard thing to quantify, grieving. Think of dealing with a death. Some people seem to move on quickly, some are affected for years.
Neither is right or wrong, that's just how it is.
I think that it's natural not to feel comfortable with other people in that way right now and for some time. But when I think about "never." Probably not. So we can't really predict anything about the entire rest of our lives.
Until then I will binge watch on netflixs. So far I have watched:
- Vanilla Sky
- Old School
- Beautiful Girls
- Empire Records
- High Fidelity
- Before Sunrise/Sunset
- Season 1-2 of Ghost Whisperer